We Wear Pants Because Rome Fell

…or trousers for my commonwealth friends. One of the lesser known, yet wonderfully practical, historical consequences of the barbarian victory.

We look out across the river to the barbarian hosts… Their hair (both of head and face) is uncut, vilely dressed with oil, braided into abhorrent shapes. Their bodies are distorted by ornaments and discolored by paint. Some of the men are huge and muscular to the point of deformity, their legs wrapped comically in the garments called braccae – breeches.

Cahill, How the Irish Saved Civilization, pp. 15-16